Date night before the big day

Tomorrow is my surgery day!  I seriously have mixed emotions about it ... on one hand, I just want to get it over with so I could heal already and go back to normal (and not have to worry about pregnancy #2) ... however, on the other hand, I really don't want to be "not normal" for 6 weeks!  I feel like that's an awfully long time to not be able to hold Zoe!  I have to become dependent on other people just as I've gotten comfortable and confident with my routine with Zoe.  It's going to be difficult to not be able to do all the things I did for her for a while ... I guess this is God telling me that it's ok to ask for help and that I can't do it all on my own.  I'm just glad that I have an awesome family and support group who I know will try their best to make sure Zoe is well taken care of and that I have the chance to heal properly.  I don't think I'm too nervous about the surgery (not yet at least).  Again, the only thing on my mind is that I won't be able to carry my baby girl for 6 weeks ...

To prepare for the big day, Mike took me to Umami Burger (yay!).  Since I would be stuck eating hospital food for a few days, we definitely had to make sure we did it up prior to the surgery =) .  I, of course, had a truffle burger with truffle fries and a Mexican coke (yum yum yum).  We went to the one in Los Feliz and it was surprisingly not as crowded as the other umami burgers.

I could tell Mike is a little worried about the surgery.  Although he only has to worry about one person this time (instead of two like the c-section) he was still worried about me.  He was afraid of any potential complications (again, we watch too much Grey's Anatomy).  I asked him what he would do if I didn't make it ... I know it's a morbid question, but I wanted to make sure he was ok with raising Zoe by himself.  He didn't want to dwell on it too much but he assured me that they would be ok.  He just kept saying I better fight hard should anything happen in the operating room.  He also didn't like that he wouldn't be in the same room as me and that he had to wait in the family area with everyone else.  I assured him that I would do my best to fight for my life in there and that I know God will take care of me and him no matter what.  Life is extremely fragile when you truly think about it and each day we have is such an amazing gift.  It shouldn't have to take surgery to open our eyes to that blessing ... so I thanked God for a great meal with my wonderful husband and went to bed that night at peace knowing that God has a plan for me and my family and all I had to do was TRUST in His amazing love.