First post-partum experience =)

Mike and I went to mass for the first time today since Zoe was born. We left her at home since she was too tiny to bring out into such a big and busy space. As we were parking the car, I realized that was the first time me and Zoe had been apart since she was conceived 9 months ago. The thought of that made me miss her sooooo much and I started to tear up!! Mike started laughing at me and pointed out that I was probably having my first post-partum depression thing. Weird how that stuff hits you!!! Hormones are no joke! Lol.

After mass we went to buy Brewers Yeast as a suggestion from a good friend of mine. I'm having a hard time producing breast milk and she said it helps with that. At this point, I'm willing to try anything to get my milk production going. I always had this vision that I was going to be able to produce sooooo much milk we would be able to freeze it for later. Mike had the vision that we could even sell my breast milk on ebay or something! However, the reality was that my body was not producing milk fast enough to keep Zoe full. Although her jaundice was gone, we were still having to supplement the breast milk with formula to make sure she was getting enough to eat/drink. I was pumping like crazy and still not able to get more than 2 or 3 ounces. I was also breastfeeding directly but it didn't seem to make her full enough. I was starting to feel like such a failure (the pressure to produce milk was totally brought on by me ... Mike just wanted to make sure Zoe had enough so he was fine with formula). In addition to the brewers yeast, i was also taking fenugreek seed. Hopefully between the two, we can get the girls going. I heard it may be because I had a c-section and my body wasn't able to release that hormone that signals the body to produce milk which normally happens during normal childbirth. I also heard that because of the severity of my surgery, my body may still be in shock from all that. I guess we'll see where this goes. I'm hoping to be able to breastfeed her (even if it's only supplemented) for as long as I can. I have an amazing immune system and I want to be able to pass that gift along to my Zoe!