Going home!

After 5 long days in the hospital, we FINALLY got to take Zoe home today!!! Being in the hospital that long was really starting to take it's toll on us ... I don't think Michael and I have had a good night's rest since Zoe was born. And it's not because of Zoe ... it's all the nurses that come in the room every hour or so to check on my vitals. Don't get me wrong -- I'm grateful for all the nurses and personal care assistants that took care of us (Huntington Hospital is AWESOME). I was just looking forward being out of the hospital. I almost wasn't able to get discharged tonight. For some reason, my blood pressure was really high. They said it may be due to the meds or just that my body was reacting that way from the type of surgery I had. I was so ready to leave and when the nurse said I may have to stay until they get my bp down, I was devasted. I guess the hormones also kicked it because when Michael said "Your blood pressure is high probably from all the McDonald's you ate while you were pregnant". It should have been a funny joke, but for some reason, when I heard him say that, all I heard was "You are a failure. You aren't doing this motherhood thing right". I started bursting out into tears. Weird!!! That was probably my first and only hormonal breakdown. Mike, of course, felt horrible and quickly tried to make me feel better. I guess I was just frustrated with being in the hospital ... with being pricked and prodded ... and all I wanted to do was get out of there! I finally calmed down and rested for a bit. They ended up taking my bp again a couple of hours later and I was fine. I was discharged around 7 pm -- not exactly how I planned Zoe's going home day, but hey, at least we were going home!

As soon as we got to Tita Bot and Tito Charlie's place and got situated, it finally sunk in that we were PARENTS. No more nurses ... no more doctors at our beckon call. It was just us and HER. For some reason, I still couldn't quite get some rest (too much adrenaline maybe?) so I decided to test out the breast pump my friend let me borrow while Zoe and Daddy slept. It was around midnight at this point and I had no idea how to use the pump. Let's just say it was a major FAIL. I got one, maybe two, drops out of me and I gave up. I figured I'd better read the manual the next morning and call it a night. I would have to wake Zoe up in about 2 hours to feed her anyway so I better get some rest.

Again, I still can't believe I'm a mommy and I can't stop staring at my baby girl's sweeet sweet face =).